When I originally got the idea for a blog I worked as a cashier at Wegman’s and I wrote this entry out on receipt paper between orders. It was pretty common that while scanning and ringing in items my wandering mind would venture into a world all its own and I’d end up pondering the most eclectic things imaginable.
So once upon a time I ended up in Flo Rida-ville. But hey, it’s no surprise that in 2012 as a recent college graduate and occasional club-goer, I heard his new song, “Whistle,” at the bars and even downloaded a pirated copy for my iPod. It had simple, catchy – ridiculous – yet entertaining lyrics. So why were these same lyrics still irking me two full years later while I rang up pears and bananas?
The fact of the matter is the lyrics are godawful. They not only disrespect women, but completely infantilize them as well. If you’re not familiar with the term, the definition of infantilize is to reduce someone to a child, or to assign a person infant-like qualities. Which brings me to my main point: what the hell is going on in this song?
I mean call me naïve, but you’re not supposed to actually blow on it, right? At one point Flo Rida compliments his anonymous female accomplice by telling her she is “talented with [her] lips, like [she] blew out a candle.” I mean – I guess a girl’s lips look somewhat pursed while giving a blow job, but the comparison is really flailing here. It requires a real effort to suspend my disbelief.
More importantly, I have to ask how old is this girl that the speaker needs to use a euphemism for his penis in order to show her how (or perhaps convince her) to perform oral sex. I say this particularly when the word he chooses for a euphemism is whistle, something normal people associate with a children’s playground. At this point, I’m really hoping our girl is more than seven years old.
Furthermore, if we give Flo Rida the benefit of the doubt (and don’t clump him alongside R Kelly in Pedophile Purgatory) and assume this young woman is a consenting adult, why is the assumption that she’s ignorant of sex? This only serves to underscore the foolish stereotype that men should be and are more experienced with sex than women.
Why, in our culture, do we accept the myth that men are the most sophisticated sexually and should be the ones governing relationships? Especially in regards to intimacy? My own history proves just the opposite. I have always been the more knowledgeable partner – legitimately every time. Let’s be candid. Since it is inherently more difficult to satisfy a woman than a man, women who seek pleasure and sexual fulfillment often must teach their partners what works.
It’s really just downright insulting that Flo Rida directs his partner to “put her lips together” and adds, “We’ll go real slow,” as if to suggest she couldn’t figure out how to give head on her own or keep up with the fundamentals. I mean, if we examine Flo Rida’s lyrics from an extremely morbid perspective, even a seven year old has probably had a lollipop.
What really grinds my gears though (cue Family Guy flashback) is that the song completely denies the female sexual experience. It’s just absurd Flo Rida doesn’t highlight the woman’s desire at all, but instead (as pornography usually does) places all of the emphasis on the man’s pleasure and eventual climax. We don’t get as much as one miniscule lyric from the woman in question, not even a background moan. For all we know, this song details some demented rape scene and the speaker is some creep with a tripod camera from 1993. At one point Flo Rida even sings “I’m bettin’ you love creep mode.” Like no. Nobody likes creep mode.
But back to this climax business. The highlight of the song is when Flo Rida orgasms and says “Shorty, let my whistle blow, blow, blow, blow” which oddly enough follows another questionable lyric: “Everywhere I go, my whistle ready to blow.” Now hold on just a minute Señor Florida. Where is your stamina? I thought you were the experienced one? And why is naiveté a favorable characteristic in women anyways? Wouldn’t it be sexier if a woman knew what she was doing and was damn awesome at getting you off? I’m reminded of the turquoise tee shirt I wore in college sporting the phrase “Enthusiastic Consent is Sexy” in hopes of decreasing date rape.
The fact that “Whistle” was nominated in the 2013 Billboard Music Awards for Top Rap Song is honestly quite perturbing. I mean – this? This was even considered for Best Song? A quirky tune about blow jobs?
At one point in the end of the song’s equally tasteless music video, Flo Rida makes a gesture like he’s pulling a train whistle, which I guess could be a gesture implying masturbation. So maybe the whole thing is just a big male fantasy and Flo Rida’s really not getting any, but then again that’s probably the most likely scenario for most guys jammin’ out to the song anyways.
Okay fans, I know I’m really ragging on Flo Rida and I will admit that despite its shortcomings (no pun intended) the song is still on my iPod, along with many of his other hits. Let’s all at least be honest about the lyrics though; they ought to be gutted. Rhyme and rhythm on point, but for the love of sexually empowered women everywhere, let’s forget about the whistles.